shooed away

Just when a paper on terror and national security was being released...a missile landed....but missed...quite admirably the Home Minister took it on the chin...not the shoe but the fact that it was thrown at him...credit to his stint as an MP who would have braved missiles in the form of chappals, chairs and files ....
The shoe or rather shoe-throwing has assumed the status of expressions of public angst...much more expressive than any placards or slogans or columns in the newspapers....the pen is mightier than the sword....and the shoe is probably mightier than the pen....and the first ones to recognize this are the journalists....who have taken to it rather quickly.... and looks like it is working too....when you see the Congress denying tickets to Tytler and Co.
This practice has been adopted by the general public too....where a retired proffessor threw a shoe at a Congress member...missed and when the shoe was thrown back by the Party member at the proffessor...it missed too....keeping aside the motives of the Prof these incidents can be used to put to rest a totally unrelated argument....the need for foreign coaches in Indian sport....when you see Indians missing such big targets at such close range....you know we need help... you might think Bindra but he had a foreign coach too.
On the personal front...these incidents have raised the prices of shoes in general....and the use-and-throw variety in particular..and on my shoestring budget...I cannot afford the new prices....considering my low pay at work...I considered throwing a shoe at my Manager in a meeting to express my desire for a pay raise...but restrained myself because what I probably would have got for all my efforts would have been the boot.

Politics of scale

There was a delay in announcing the election dates with one of the Election commissioners Mr. Chawla going AWOL and an earlier controversy over the Chief Election Commissioner Mr. Gopalaswami recommending, to the President, the removal of Mr. Chawla from his post….because he felt Mr. Chawla was partial to the ruling party. But this recommendation was overruled by the President, based on impartial advice given by the ruling party.

The Congress party, having achieved minimum of the Common Minimum Programme agenda it had with its allies in the UPA is deciding to go the distance alone this time. The party is probably trying to rebuild its individual identity under the leadership of Raul…err Rahul Gandhi. This did not come as a surprise to some because there were instances of politicians accusing the ruling party of nepotism and dynasty politics… it is altogether a different matter that this grave charge was leveled against the Congress because their own sons were being denied party tickets.

It is being mentioned that this election, as far as party spending is concerned, would be the most expensive ever at a cost of Rs. 10,000 crores…much higher than the recently concluded US Presidential election which cost Rs. 8000 crores. Of course in these times of economic crisis, the more enterprising politicians are urging for alliances based on seat sharing, money sharing and ideology (probably in that order) at all levels, regional and national, to contest the elections.

Economies of scale would suggest that various parties, upon understanding their strengths and weaknesses in various constituencies, should form alliances and field candidates accordingly….so instead of 8 different parties wooing the public in each constituency…it will be 2 or 3 coalition parties…so any members of public aiming to re-furnish their homes entirely would have to make do with fewer freebies this time…..and lesser liquor and fewer biriyani packets….so before the public drinks the elixir called tea…the politicians would do well not to miss a trick….jaago rey jaago rey jaaaago rey

Tickled Pink

Chaotic scenes…..Muthalik on his way to court….being charged for masterminding the pub attack in Mangalore…..his ram sena was forming a throng around him….waving pink…errr….saffron banners…..Muthalik utterly confused….all he did was protect Indian culture….a culture where we respect women….that is why he had sent his goons to beat up those women in the pubs.

Karunanidhi stuck in traffic……he had heard about Muthalik’s army of monkeys…the sri ram sena….and he was coming to the court to take up the sethu samudram issue with them….to check if these monkeys had indeed built the bridge to Lanka….but the traffic snarl was so bad that traffic had come to a standstill……there were no cops around to control the situation

The cops were engaged in a deadly game of one upmanship with the lawyers of the city…..the lawyers had drawn first blood by burning a police station…

The lawyers in Bangalore had joined their brethren in Chennai…who were attacked by police for having burnt up a police station in the Chennai high court….but the lawyers had a perfectly valid reason behind doing this…..they were seeking US intervention in Sri Lanka….and what better way to seek their intervention than hurl stones and burn stations

Nisha Susan…fresh from her pink chaddi campaign….was planning on doing a follow up story….on how the metrosexual man was facing wardrobe malfunction…because of the shortage of pink underwear….she had lined up guest interviews with Saif Ali Khan and Ranbir Kapoor….but she too was getting delayed because of the traffic….but being the ever-enterprising journalist…she spots Karunanidhi in the traffic jam….and walks upto him and starts an interview…..

Spotting this…the culturally enhanced blood of Muthalik starts boiling….out of the saffron err...blue a priest pops out….Muthalik walks upto Nisha….and forces her to tie the knot with Karunanidhi….not for Muthalik inter sex mingling in public….